borneolady

Today 3/1/2008, for many it may be the first day at school, school or work starts for the new year and bla, bla, bla. However, this very fine date, 3rd of January will always remain part of my yearly dairy as this auspicious date is the day when my little brother was born. Though he left us, but this very date will always be remembered. If he were still here, I’ll be busy planning his 22nd birthday for him. What to get for him? Should we buy cake or not? And the usual stuff that we’ll normally do on a person’s birthday.

       Saddenning, he wasnt here with us. All we could do was to go to the temple & pray for him in the morning. I bought his favourite pizza for him. But so what? what can he do with that? Though it’s been for more than a year, I still miss him lots esp. when i have the time to think alone. How could this be? Man, i dont understand also sometimes.

          If he were here, i think we’ll be going for for dinner together. then dad would be asking what does he want to have. With his simple personality, I’m sure he’ll said, ‘Cincai la..anything oso can..’ and in the end, i’ll be the one choosing on what to eat. But he isnt here with us anymore. Even dinner time with parents now are so quiet. Everyone trying to update each other, but still…it’s like a gap is there. I just cant describe it here. It’s the feeling that i dont like at all.

         When my brother was still around, birthdays to him was just an ordinary day. He would always hope that his birthdays would fall on a school day. But unfortunately, it doesnt most of the time. And he would always hope that maybe his friends would have celebrated it for him or whatever. Unfortunately, no one bother/ remembered. Poor thing. So for him, the only celebration was with us. He always wished so much his friends would remember it. Not even his close friends. Somehow, some other hi-bye friends would be the one instead to wish him happy birthday. He then would come back & tell us, ‘…luckily, there’s someone who wishes me..’ I just dont understand, how come no one could remember his birthday? No, im not blaming anyone here. All i wanted to say was that, he’s such a poor boy. But he didnt keep this all in heart. He’ll just mentioned it like normal, & totally erase it.

         So, I took my time now to actually write tis in the blog to let u know TC that i do remember ur birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TC! Miss u lots…