borneolady

By looking at the time (12.53am) I should be sleeping by now especially when tomorrow is a working day. Not that I could not sleep but something is bothering me. So I thought might as well just blog it down then to make my white hair grow more…Haha…=P

Well, the thing that has been bothering me about someone’s history. Is history really that important? Ok ok, u must be wondering what the h*ll this kwee hoon wanna say?? Haha..to make a long story short, i borrowed my bf’s laptop the other day. I was so tempted to see his pics. Though he might not know it anyway, if I see those pics without asking him at all, I asked anyway. hehe…U all must be thinking dat’s I wont make a good thief or spy. Hahaha…But i just feel bad to invade in other people’s privacy. So I make it a point to ask him, & he gave me the go. Yeaahhh!!

But wait a moment! I paused for quite sometime. What happen if i see something that wasnt meant for me to see? Something like he & his ex? What will i feel then? I’m pretty sure that I’ll be upset…=( But hey…I reasoned to myself, everyone has a history. It’s already a past. Btt being a gal, haha…well..ermm…you should know la rite? Dont need me to elaborate further. Hehe…=P

Ok, I physcho-ed myself, telling, ‘…it’s all over. He’s now with u…’ But when I saw those pics, I couldnt help but felt…ermm….sad?..jealous?…upset?…ermm…dont know how to describe that feeling. Yet at the same time, I knew pretty well that it wasnt his fault. It’s his history already, darling girl. But…at the same time, I was like…well…mixed feelings. Heemmm…so people, do u think I should see or not? Wont it be better sometimes, if we dont know about something too much? I always think that way. And many incident has proven me rite. Seriously. When we dont go and dig much, we dont care much about it. However, when we knew it, oh God, pls bless me. Haha…weird huh? Or it’s just me alone behaving like that? I know this kinda feelings will spoil my relationship with him, which I dont want it to happen. But i just cant help myself.

However, I was relief when he told me just now that, ‘…all that matter is i’m with u now…’ It’s true…haiii…it’s pretty hard at times to be a girl. If i have a choice, I wouldnt want to be one. I’ll choose to be a guy. A guy. Moreover, my family need now is a guy, instead of a girl. Mom & dad would be more happy to have a guy. Ok ok, dont get misunderstood. Not that my parents are treating me bad. No, no! They love me lots. Actually, even when TC (my bro) was around, I was treated better than him! Haha…Poor TC! hai…but he’s not here now. That’s why, I’ll say my parents need a son rather than a girl. Ok ok, I might be conservative but it’s facts that I’m talking about.

So how? Should I or should I not? Kindly advise. I dont believe in snooping around. But…haha….guess u know what i meant. Hopefully, my bf doesnt find my blog here. Hehe..=P but he’s kinda open minded, so i guess he wont mind la. Not say, I’m cheating on him or what. Hehe…I asked his permission okay? And it’s granted! Haha…Hai…life…how I wish, I’m still a kid. Hehehe..problems-free, stress-free…hai…

Okay la, got to go. Chiouz…Haha…something like wat TC use to say b4 leaving.Got to sleep already. 1.18am. Tomorrow my drs will be seeing a Malaysian panda!! haha…kd! Take care~

This entry was posted on Monday, September 3rd, 2007 at 10:25 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.