borneolady

It’s been almost more than a year already that he passed away. I still cant believe it. Sometimes, i still feel quite shaken by the tragic news. I knew pretty well that we cant take things for granted now. How come, till now only i truly understand the real meaning of taking someone for granted?? Only when i had lost someone whom i think ‘wasnt’ precious to me..it’s pretty saddening. My sis n friends told me not to think abt it anymore. Keep on going with life. But who will really knows what exactly happen in my heart?

That day, i watched ‘Spiderman 3′ with my friends. Out of a sudden, I was feeling so so devastated. I felt as if i were in Peter Parker’s situation when he was trying to take revenge for his demised uncle. I really felt like killing the bloody b*****d! No words can ever describe my anger. I really felt the lost. That particular night, i was extremely sad. Seemed do not know what to do..Felt weird…Where’s my bro? Where’s the guy whom I would alwiz go to whenever i wanna vent out my feelings? Where is he now? I couldnt help it but wish to have someone there..But i couldnt find anyone..There wasnt anyone in my mind except for u, my beloved bro, TC. I wished so much to hug someone at that particular time. To cry things out…But no one was there for me, TC…No one.. If only TC were here in this world, my life would be so much more happier. I’m now earning my own money d, bro. I tot u will be here to help share ‘use’ up my money…But where are u? Remember, before i graduated, I wished so much to earn a lot of money, so that i can buy many stuff for u, dad n mom. However now…It’s saddening sometimes, when i see sisters buying things for their bro…I wish TC, dat u r here…I wanna buy things for u. Trully…

Before u passed away TC, I felt so happy when i bought the pants for u..I dont mind to spend 100+ for the pair of pants. I really dont mind. I’m very happy that u appreciated it very much..glad to see the happiness in u. u only wore the pants for special occasion. Make that pants the special ones. That was the happiness that couldnt be described. But now, how could i ever had that feeling again? How could i ever feel the happiness of buying things for siblings? I wish so much u were here. ..I really wish!! I admit since i started working, i hadnt much time to think of u as i’m pretty busy with my work. But once in a while, ur presence is alwiz felt whenever ppl mentioned of bros or anything concern with u…

I wish somehow that u are never gone from this world. i wish u were here with me…seriously…i really cant replace u in daddy’s & mom’s heart..No never…Just wish that u were here with us. The home seemed quiet without ur teasing & laughter…How i wish u are really here with us…I really do..I dont mind u being naughty..I dont mind ur mischievous act. I dont mind u teasing me. I dont mind u calling me ‘fat sis’. I dont mind. I wont care n i promise not to scold u…provided u come back to us. I promise, i will not ill treat u. I promise will share with u some of my earnings. I promise, to take care of u. will u ever come back if i do all those? will u? i promise not to shout at u or call u names. will u?

I pray for ur happiness, TC. Do take good care up there. I wonder if u will ever still remember me in our next life..No matter wat it is, I pray & hope u will. No one can ever replace ur position in my heart…Love u lots bro..Anything u ‘need’ up there, just let me ‘know’ k?

Love very much,

sis