borneolady

Yeah!!! I received a mooncake today! Hehe…from someone special..mind you, DO NOT simply think…it’s from my so-called sis-in-law la…if i have the luck. Such a sweet darling. No wonder my bro will fall for her. Hehe…

Hai…sometimes…things are really weird..I may lose a brother…But after the incident, i gained a ’sister’, and also a few more friends (my bro’s good friends). They are my strength. Whenever I see them, they seems to be like my bro..Therefore, anything concerning them will also affect me in  way…For example, the mooncake…it seems like my bro had sent it to me..=) I might have think too much..but come to think of it…sometimes, relationship can be complicated. If my bro were still here, i dont think i would ever be so close to my ’sis’. Rite?

Therefore, we must really learn to appreciate the people surrounding us..they all (my ’sis’ n her friends) have been very nice to me n my parents. N we really appreciate that…It’s so touching at times…Thanks a lot, bros n sis!!

OK, back to the topic…i wonder, at times, we might seem to know the person well…but later to found out that we were wrong. People change and so does their surrounding. Dont get me wrong. I dont mean to blame them. i know and realise of the facts…but just cant bring myself to face it. N y, sometime, even your so-called enemy can be your closest friend? Hai…i oso dont understand it…Is it what the call ‘Life Facts’? It’s really complicate…Am i rite?? Hehe..

A friend gave me a box of mooncake and paper-made tanglung today. Not realizing, the ‘Tanglung Festival is so fast approaching..My goodness, time really flies. Come to think of it, I always have sweet memories during this time of the year. As far as I remembered, back when I was in form 3, my best friend’s brother dedicated to me a tanglung. Hehe…I was so excited to have received that. Then in my form 4 (or is it form 5, huh chi mui?) I was admiring someone at that time..So..one of my very chi mui, did a trick on me! What she did was sent a dedication to this particular cute guy that I admired on my behalf! Oh my, how embarrassed I was….But thanks to her that I got the chance to get close to him. He approached to thank me for the dedication. My heart was like almost popping out! Haha…those were the days…(Hey, don’t get me wrong..that was during my YOUNGER days, okie…) then during the year of Form 6, me & my big ‘gang’ went out together to Klebang beach with our tanglungs & have a stroll. Hehe…so sorry that we don’t act our age…but that doesn’t matter..the things that matters to me is those beautiful memories that kept recalled in my mind. We went out almost on every weekends in a big gang. Imagin the feeling when about 20 of you went into the café and every in it turned their heads to look at who’s coming! =) Those are the feelings which I don’t get it now.. Then, in Upper 6 (one of the most important years) coincidently, my birthday was held around that time. My chi muis organize a birthday party for me to Klebang again and have our tanglung celebration there..hehe…=) so sweet of them….*muaks, muaks* Love you all to the max man! Hehe…After that, I flied to Land Below the Wind…where I spent the first year of tanglung festival with my coursemates in Indah Permai. We brought our own tanglung, torchlight, battery-generated light, own radio, own cooked red bean soup, not to forget mooncakes, jellies, Chinese tea (it’s the cheapest alrite) and etc…we also carry the tanglung around the neighbourhood. Unfortunately, second year was a bit quiet..I spent the night in my room, revising for my test (or exam…forget d..)…but I have a good friend there who gave me a call and talked to me the whole night. Thanks!! =) In my 3^rd year, my roommate n her sis together with another friend, each bought a mooncake. But this time I celebrate it without a tanglung. But hey, my mum said I received a parcel from another friend! Haha…=) Hmm….I was wondering just now, how am I gonna celebrate it this year which will fall on 6^th October? Will I receive a tanglung? =)

Y is it so unfair in this world? Someone killed in an accident and the bloody culprit is still freely roaming about!!! Aaaarrrggghhhhhh!!!!! Y? Y? He said he didnt have the intention to do so…but how come?? if u already know the consequences, then y do u wan to drive so fast??? it didnt only cost a life..but oso the happiness of many ppl…his beloved parents, his sister, his girlfriend, his friends…Y? Y does good ppl alwiz die early n the bad ones still around this world? How much does life cost??!! If only i could turn back time..the once my ‘joker’ isnt here anymore…where has he been? life… if the culprit were to apologize to us, i dont think i can accept it.no! no way..too bad…unless, i have the exact same person back! if not, dun ever think about it…y does ppl have to be so cruel at times? y?? at age of 5, when he entered kindergarden, if there’s any events and he brought those goodies, he’ll share it with me…would any ordinary 5-yr-old do so? not me for sure…the times when i was far away from home, he was there to ‘accompany’ and support me all the times especially when doing my thesis..i would msg him, pouring my stress..n he would reply with some witty messages to keep me at ease. there was once when he told me if he could, he wud fly all the way there to help me with my work…you know, simple words like his, always lifted my spirit for the day..when i need a ‘bodyguard’, he’ll be mine..=) and when i need a ‘porter’, he’ll also be the one…he wouldnt complained much…so a word of ‘haiyah…y so troublesome?’…isnt he an angel? i never realise i could lose him so easily…i never tot of him leaving me 1st..hai…that’s y…i took things for granted..n now, when i needed someone to tok to, i dunno who i can turn to…things are too precious to be taken for granted. all i could have are just memories of he n i…TC, u’ll always remain in my heart…cheers!~

Your beloved sis…

Today (10/9) I went out with one of my best buddy. We were chatting nicely about lotsa stuff…One of the topics for the gals’ talks that made me thinking deeply was about the type of women we want to be..hmmmppp…..quite a tough question huh?? Do I wan to be a housewife and just sit at home, do all the house chores and be the woman behind my beloved man? Or do I want to a corporate lady, who climbs up the ladder, ignoring the ‘normal’ social norms of women must get married, have a baby or so and blah, blah, blah? What do I really want to become? I wasn’t young anymore…I have to wake up to tell myself my purpose of life…but where should I begin? How do I begin? I sort of lost my burning passion towards life ever since I lost my beloved bro..where can I search for those passion again? Where should I begin? I dun wanna lead a life like dat…neither do I wan to hang around with no aims in life..But, housewife or iron lady???  After much thoughts, I still haven’t finalise my decision…maybe I should get some help! But to whom shall I turn to? I went to ask my mum. Mummy said “…it’s up to you. If you can get a good husband, then it’ll be good to be the woman behind the successful man…” Good husband? How can I guarantee the guy I married to is the good husband? Ok, let’s put it aside.. then mum continues. “…but if you can secure yourself a great job is even better!…” hhmmmpp….good idea! But where do I go from here?? It makes me wonder…

out of the blues, i was so ‘mo liu’ today that i went to check on my friend in friendster…as i strolled down the list…i felt something…it’s strange. i missed my friends..n to think back, i was chatting with two of my best buddies last nite till around 2 sumthing. i enjoyed the conversation tho we were lke so sampat, tokking nonsense…so, it makes me thinking…am I in the process of growing up? is growing up so boring? i enjoyed my schooling days more than it is. regretted that i didnt cherish those moments well…i guess my best times were during my secondary school life…i like it best…maybe i have not grown yet…then i was also thinking about my campus life.it wa so dreadful during my 1st year, being far away from home..=( thank God i made some good friends throughout those 3 years. they are the ones who add colours to my life…esp my ‘chi muis’. however, as times goes by, we meet less and less of each other every year..*sob sob*….y?? must ppl change??

It’s 10.13pm. I’m in the living room watching astro…My mind was still wandering about the Singaporean drama that I watched just now…"You Are The One". One can guess that it’s sort the romance movie. It’s true…Generally it’s about this family which consist of 3 daughters. The three has different personalities and love stories. But wat disturb me is the second daughter’s love story…Well, she was just a plain looking gurl, as compared to her sisters. However, she has a heart of gold…Practically, she went thru a lot of match making before marrying this cute guy…=) It was a touching story…u know, sort of like the Cinderella..but this is different…in real world, does anyone really care about what is inside a person? has anyone cares about the party’s personality? people only look at the exterior…why? I was wondering why too..but I have to admit that I, myself also judge a person physically too…=P  i know it was very wrong of me…but i just couldnt help it. Let me console myself by blaming the social norm.hehe…. is there anything I can do to help change the mentality of human? hhhhmmmm….ok, ok just put it this way. If you are a good-looking male/female, would you go for some plain looking spouse? Frankly speaking, I would la…=) *applause* I wont mind if my hubby is kind hearted and caring though he has features of an average person. However, from what i had observed so far (including some discussions with the males & females), it is concluded thata girl can accept if the guy is just plain looking as long as he treats her well..this is different with the guys.hhhmmmppphhh….UNFAIR!!!! Guys generally would prefer some good-looking ones. why is this so??